Long Distance Pizza Delivery...

November 12, 2019

Our son dropped by the other night as we were eating Quiznos. My husband had a sandwich and I a salad. Our son stated how good our dinner looked, much better than the pizza he had. Then he proceeded to tell us the frustration he had to go through to get his pizza. 


He decided pizza sounded really good and knew where he wanted to get his pizza. I'm not going to mention the name of that pizza joint because I don't want to leave a negative impression, besides it wasn't there fault. Anyway, he likes to go online to order his pizza, it easier because he is already on the computer doing his homework. 


So his mouth is watering with anticipation as he continues doing his homework and he looks at the time thinking it should be here soon when he gets a call from the delivery driver:


Driver: I'm trying to locate this address?


My Son: We are close to the mall.


Driver: You mean the BX?


Ok, something doesn't sound right with this. We're in Missoula, MT… there's no BX in little old Fort Missoula. So Shane goes back to his computer to check out his order  confirmation to find the address his pizza was being delivered to was in Fort Knox, KY. (It's been a few years since he was in Fort Knox.)


So now Shane has to do all this work to straighten out his mess and get a new pizza delivered to the right address in Missoula. When he finally got his pizza, he had been looking OHHH SO FORWARD TO, it was a big disappointment.


Isn't it funny how we can have our heart set on something and when we get it we find it just wasn't what it was cracked up to be. Sometimes even just the simplest things in life like a pizza


Psalm 30:5 -- "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning."


Despite the frustration of Shane's long distance pizza delivery, which did not satisfy his taste buds, we all got a good laugh at his misfortune.


And yes, my son did remove that Fort Knox address from their list of addresses to deliver to. L0l.

 

Blessed Insurance, Jesus is mine...

November 12, 2019

Growing up a preacher’s kid, I’ve learned to entertain myself during lengthy sermons or pastoral meetings. Hymns and church bulletins are the answer to the “doldrums.” When we would sing the hymn In the Garden, one of my best friends would lean toward me and whisper, “Who is Andy?” The lyrics being, “And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own…”

Our funniest was “Come, come the Saints, no toilet paper…” instead of, “Come, come ye saints, N...


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Feeling Itchy!

November 10, 2019

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 -- Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

As we enter into Holocaust Remember Day in Israel, and many in the United States are praying as it enters its 65th annual National Day of prayer, I'm reminded of a story by Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian survivor who protected Jews during World War 2.

In her book “The Hiding Place” Corrie ten Boom relates an incident that taught her always ...


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God's Grace and the Skunk

November 9, 2019

My dog Shotgun and I were walking out to feed the horses. It was a pleasant but very dark night, one where I kinda find my way by listening to the sounds of the horses. I can hear them talking to ma and I can hear Shotgun running around sniffing this, and snuffing that checking out what the squirrels and rabbits have been up to all day. I had just gotten home from a laddies group where we had been discussing God's grace and what it was to us. What a great group of ladies with so many diff...

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Have you forgotten something?

November 8, 2019

Psalms 111:4 He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion.

A farmer was showing his visiting city dwelling friend around his farm. "Watch this!" he said. He gave a whistle and his little dog came running from the house, herded the cattle into the corral, then latched the gate with her paw. "Wow, that's some dog -- what's her name?" The forgetful farmer thought for a minute and then asked, "What do you call that red flower that smells good and h...


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Gotcha!

November 6, 2019

Numbers 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.

Now I'm not a big fan of drinking alcohol or drunkenness but this story was funny.

He snuck up the stairs as quietly as he could. He looked in the bathroom mirror and bandaged the couple of bumps and bruises he'd received in a fight earlier that night. He was a little drunk, but nobody had to know. He proceeded to climb into bed, smiling at the thought that he'd pulled one ov...


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Freckles and Wrinkles

November 5, 2019

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. “You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint!” a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. “I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always w...


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John 3:16 Devotional

November 3, 2019

In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in. A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner; the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he could not sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there at night. Sure would be ...


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Stranger in my house!

November 3, 2019

A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was.


She is a clever old lady, and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is, hogging the whole thing, completely obliterat...


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Unexpected Pastoral Visit

November 1, 2019

A pastor went out one Saturday afternoon to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it, and stuck it in the door:

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me."

            - Revelation 3:20

 

The next morni...


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My favorite animal...

November 1, 2019

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”

She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork, and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the princip...


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Teacher illustrates "God does not exist!"

November 1, 2019

In her first grade classroom, a young teacher was starting to explain the theory of evolution to her students.

She directed her first questions to Tommy in the front row.

Teacher : Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

Tommy : Yes.

Teacher : Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

Tommy : Yes.

Teacher : Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

Tommy : Okay. (He returned a minute later) Yes, I saw the sky.

Teacher : Did you see God?

Tommy : No.

Teacher : That's my point.

We can't see God because...


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Heavenly Softball...

October 30, 2019

Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day.

One day Betty said, 'Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'

Bertha looked up at Betty from her deathbed and said, 'Betty, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all po...


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Heaven on a point system!

October 29, 2019

A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”

“Okay,” the man says, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.”

“That’s wonderful,” says St....


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Are you listening?

October 27, 2019

James 1:19-20 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt got tired of smiling that big smile and saying all the usual things at those White House receptions. So, one evening he decided to find out whether anybody was paying attention to what he was saying. As each person came up to him with extended hand, he flashed his big smile and said, "I murdered...


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Friends come in so many unique and different packages...












Additional Devotional Pages:

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