A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head, and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reac...

I worked as a Para-educator for many years in the school system. I was blessed to work five of those years with a child with severe cerebral palsy. He taught me many things.

When I first began with him he was in kindergarten, wheel chair bound and did not speak. During recess we would exercise in a gait trainer (basically similar to an infant walker.) He did not enjoy this chore. The teacher told me they would basically tie a rope to the walker and pull him around, hoping he would start moving...

Psalms 27:4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

Three men were marooned on a desert island. As the days slowly went by, they dreamed of what it would be like to be at home with their friends and family, to be back at their jobs doing the things they loved. One day one of the men found a bottle. When he opened it, a genie came out and annou...

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.

George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses?" The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked again, "Aren't you Moses?" The man continued to peruse the ceiling.

George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and ...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently faced a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick, and put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally, the principal decided to do something. She called all the girls t...

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.” 

“Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!” “I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apar...

When I was a boy, we had pre-air-conditioning features on our car called “wings.” Little vertical windows that directed outside air into the car. Open the wing and air would hit the glass and fly into the car.

The downside was that the wing also directed anything that was flying in the air into the car.

One Sunday a bee hit the wing, was jettisoned into the car and got caught in my sweater. I began screaming, “A bee! Agh! Mom! It’s a bee! I’m gonna die!”

“Pipe down!” my sympathet...

One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there was seen,

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,

And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"

Those prints are large and round and neat,

"But Lord they are too big for feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,

"For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you woul...

James 5:8 You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, age five and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson so she said; "Now boys, if Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

This story cracked me up,...

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about a pastor. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard, and then was afraid to come down.

The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. THe kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and grasp the kitten.

She writes:

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling Choir performance, followed by a thunderous Prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and I put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did! What an up-lifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is . . . and I ...

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out....

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. 'What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!', he said to himself. 

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. 

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. 

He tripped and fell on the ground. He ro...

I have worked in Memory Care for many years. I started out in housekeeping. I believe in being playful with my residents, trying to bring a smile to their face. 

Many times I have come beside one of my residents in a wheelchair with my laundry cart and playfully say, "On your marks, Get set, Go!" Followed by those residents moving their feet rapidly and my running in place, all in good fun.

One day I came up along one of my residents, a 96 year old Norwegian woman. She with her walker and me wi...